2006: The Year Of Ethan

Without a doubt, the highlight of 2006 for us was the birth of our son, Ethan Koay Yong-Ren Eblaghie.

And the pregnancy. (you can't exactly forget that) :-D

When Kelly and I found out we were going to be parents, way back in early February some time, my first reaction was: "how accurate are these pregnancy kits anyways?" A couple extra trips to the local grocery store to purchase additional kits confirmed it - the 'blue plus sign' was certainly in no doubt.

Our lives would no longer be the same.

We could hardly hold our excitement. We told our families immediately, and only our dear housemate (at the time), Amani. But it took only a few days thereafter for the entire world of the Koay and Eblaghie families to know. (parents who are soon to be grandparents are the worst at keeping pregnancy secrets). Being first-time parents (to be), we were naturally worried about announcing the news too early. After all, it is very common to have miscarriages or have the pregnancy fail for some reason or another in the very early weeks of pregnancy.

The anxious moments of those early weeks, and Kelly being completely nauseated were not fun. But God, as He always does, takes care of things, and if you only truly put your whole trust in Him, you'd just carry on and enjoy lifes twists and turns, and not worry so darn much. We've learned - not that we won't worry in the future. Argh. Trust already!

So the pregnancy was in full force, and in early April we had our first ultrasound scan of 'baby' (we still had not decided on a name, and Kelly's dream where we had a boy named "Ethan" did not happen until later on). 'Baby' was all of 2.2 cms and looked like a kidney bean. In fact, we all debated which end (of the scan) was the head, and which end was the bum.

Still, every doctor's visit, and every time we heard that strong heartbeat, our faith was confirmed - our Baby was going to be OK.

The next ultrasound though provided some scares, as well as some comforting images. It was the first time we could actually see all of (Ethan's) facial structures. His nose was particularly really prominent, oh, and his Willie Wonka confirmed it - we were having a baby boy.

Oh the excitement. Call the fams again. Let them know the great news.

The worry was, there was this 'bright spot' detected in the ultrasound in Ethan's heart. The radiologist called it an "intracardial echogenic focus" - literally translated means "in heart bright spot". This bright spot is sometimes a "marker" for Down's Syndrome. And Asians tend to have higher frequency/susceptibility for this disorder (I think?). So this all worried us. And we prayed, and prayed. Of course, all the other anatomical indicators of DS were negative - only this one tiny bright spot on the ultrasound of our baby's heart. And how a tiny echogenic focus make parents worry.

Few too many 30-hour ("on call") hosptial shifts, no rest, and one early September evening later, the unexpected happened. Kelly's water broke! :-D (oh... and y'all know... on TV when you see the dad-to-be panic like crazy and pretty much has to be the one on the wheel chair upon arriving at the hosptial instead of his pregnant spouse... yea... that's the one... that was me). I was kinda loopy. Kelly had to calm me and keep me focused.

Kelly: "Max, make sure we have a receiving blanket in our diaper bag."

Max: (running around like a loony bin)

Kelly: "Max, are you sure you put a change of clothes, some baby lotion, water bottles, etc.. etc.. in our bag?"

Max: "Why didn't we pack all this sooner!!!!!" (again, freaking out like a loony bin)

Kelly: "Sorry I couldn't hold it in a little longer for ya... errr..." (ok so I am making this line up)

It was hectic. We rushed to the hospital. Kelly was hooked up to monitors, and lo and behold, she was indeed having contractions. Tiny as they were, they were still regular and easily visible on the monitor as peaks and valleys. The doctor did a quick scan to check on Ethan's position and progression down the birth canal. He was still quite high up (i.e. not progressed much at all).. and... here's the kicker... he was breech (feet down, instead of head down).

So C-section it was.

One hour later we were parents.

Yup, just like that. We had a living, breathing, warm and tightly bundled in blankets, ointment in his eyes. tiny human in our care.

Oh the cries... how sweet... Ethan's first few cries were so weak and vulnerable. He was so cute, and all he wanted to do was be kept warm and sleep. No food. That would be for later. He just wanted some rest.

Well anyways, this blog entry is supposed to be a sort of recollection of 2006 and we have not yet left the hospital with Ethan.

I had my 28th birthday two days after Ethan was born.

Krishelle and Jessica ordered in Singaporean food from Merlion and a cake from Madhatter's. I was in scrubs, Kelly was in her post-operation dressing gown, Ethan was under photo-therapy lights, and we celebrated in this small hospital room.

OK, little else in 2006 quite compares, no? I can't even begin to type the rest, when what I have already put to the keyboard has come out so effortlessly.

Definitely. For us, 2006 has been the year of Ethan.

The Cottens

[dinner at Fariba & Payam's on 12/25]

Tonight was Glen and Isik's final 19-day Feast at the Durham Baha'i Center. The entire Durham Baha'i family's going to totally miss you guys! We wish you both safe travels and many adventures in Turkey! Don't come back (WE'LL COME TO YOU)! :-D Ah yes, I can already see us making a trip of it, and perhaps making it a round trip by also going to Haifa, Israel, to visit Kelly's parents and a 3-day pilgrimage to visit the Holy Shrines.

Remember to follow up on Ethan's progress through this blog, and I will be sure to keep in touch with you also. Let me know if your emails change at all.

Many things have changed in our community, but one thing I will never forget (when our time comes to move as well in July '07) is how, without fail, every third (or so) Saturday of every month, you can bet half the town were at "Glen and Isik's Brunch and Devotions".

WE LOVE YOU!

Ethan & His Swing

Daddy & Ethan Video

Auntie Adeline & Ethan

This is a short clip of Auntie Adeline playing with Ethan a few minutes before we took her to the airport. It is so quiet now with everyone going back home from their vacation. Adeline was the last family member to visit us. Oh, and Ah Ma, maybe try all the videos I've uploaded of Ethan again. I changed the settings to my YouTube videos to "public" and so now the links should work ok. Enjoy :-D Adeline, safe trip, and email/call us when you're back in Sydney or on route (Chicago, San Fran).

One Of Those Days/Nights

Today was Kelly's last day off. She returns to work tomorrow, and, naturally, she'll be 'on call' (which means we won't see her until Friday afternoon).

So, this morning Kelly baked some cinamon rolls for breakfast. We kept to the house for a little while until we decided to go out for lunch. Meanwhile, Kelly was preparing all her things for a long shift, overnight in the hospital, making sure she has everything she needs in her duffle bag for tomorrow. The sisters debated over Korean or Japanese for lunch, and we ended up going to Shiki Sushi only because it was open, and its proximity to the house is really second to none.

Nothing fancy was ordered. Just good sushi. And Ethan was very behaved, but did need a feed around the time our food arrived, so everyone got their fill.

Back at home, we had dessert - left over apple crumble and vanilla ice cream - and I also made fruit smoothies. We usually have a huge bag of frozen cut fruit that we buy from Sam's Club that is just perfect for smoothies. I usually make them with milk, but this evening, I decided to make them with cherry limeade (like lemonade) that we had in our fridge. It was OK. A very cold drink option for a brisk December evening. :-D

We watched a couple episodes of Season One of Grey's Anatomy (Adeline is hooked on this show - as are Kelly and I, I suppose). Mom and I bathed Ethan (sorry Viet, very untimely call! I will call you back soon) and Kelly fed him, before Kelly retired for the evening.

Going to bed before 9pm is not uncommon for Kelly when she's on a rough rotation at work. And actually, we are down to one car, since my GTI is at the dealership being looked at after a good friend spotted a few too many oil spots under my car. There were other things I wanted looked at anyways, like the sunroof would automatically decide to open and close at random, and the rear driver-side seat would not fold down properly. I got a call this evening saying it will be another couple of days. So, I will drive Kelly early to the hospital tomorrow and pick her up on Friday. Adeline also heads back to Sydney tomorrow.

Will be a quiet house with just Ethan, mum and I. (and so I'll probably call you then V).

More Baby Noises From Ethan

Gran playing with Ethan. (hmmm, seems the audio is a bit delayed, may need to re-upload this video to YouTube later on...)

Family Traditions

[L-R: Sufern, Adeline, Kelly, Ethan, Max and Mom]

Every family has 'em. Well, most do. And recently, although Kelly and I have talked about this very topic before, I was really thinking about what our budding family can do, while Ethan is very young, that will be repeated year after year in establishing our own family traditions.

Here are but a few of the ideas we hope to implement as our family grows:

(1) Ayyam-i-Ha Service Project

During the time of Ayyam-i-Ha (aka Intercalary Days), February 26th - March 1st, our family will offer our services to the greater community. Some examples of what our family can do include: volunteering at an elderly home, helping to clean up a local park, organizing an outing for underpriveleged children in the area, offering virtues classes for neighborhood children, help spread cheer at local homeless shelters, fundraise for certain charities and causes, etc... Moreover, I hope to make more of Ayyam-i-Ha including making our home more festive with decorations, children's activities, gift giving, and joyous celebration. For Baha'is, this time of the year preceeds the fasting month of Ala (Loftiness) which occurs March 2nd until March 20th every year, with March 21st being Naw Ruz (New Year) coinciding with the beginning of Spring.

(2) Home-made Birthday Cake

Pretty self explanatory. For every birthday in our family, we will try and bake a cake from scratch.

(3) Daily Baha'i Prayers and Readings

Rather than a tradition, it is a Baha'i obligation to pray at least once in a day and also to read the Creative Word in the morn and in the eve. Of course, not every Baha'i does this, and it really just comes down to personal initiative. So, I would like to make this a daily practice with our Ethan and family.

Do you have any long-standing family traditions you would like to recommend/share?

Ethan Cooing

Ethan making baby noises to his auntie Jessica, while his mom encourages him on in Chinese.

Team Tickle

[Back Row L-R: me, Allyson (Ally-Cat), Dianna; Front Row L-R: Nick, Megan, Miki, Eva and Elizabeth; missing: Kevin]

"I've heard of a group hug, but what's a team tickle?" - Professor E.B. Lane (2003)

Merry Christmas and Happy Hogmanay Cheryll, and the rest of the Tickle Lab :-D

Dinner With Friends

[Grandma Anne, Ethan, Lauren and Diego]


Last night we had dinner with colleagues and friends at home. My mom and I prepared food. Mom cooked honey glazed (mini) Cornish hens, while I made my sweet pork roast. We had mashed potatoes with mashed sweet potatoes. Our freshly tossed salad had mangoes, avocado, Gala apples, tossed greens, cherry tomatoes, and shredded carrots. For dessert, mom made her famous apple crumble with Bryers double-churned, extra creamy, vanilla ice cream. :-D


Emil was first to arrive. This is also his last year at Duke. Emil is in his final half year of internal medicine residency and is going to continue his training sub-specializing in adult hem/onc (cancer) at Sloan Kettering in NYC.

Krishelle came over next, coming straight from work and still in her scrubs. She brought with her a lot of drinks and desserts when we explicitly said 'no need to bring anything'. :-D Oh well. That's Krishelle for ya. And we did kinda think alike with the drinks - I had bought sparkling apple cider, and she, sparkling pear and peach. So good times. And reminiscent more of Thanksgiving, Krishelle's dessert options included Ede's pumpkin ice cream as well as sweet potato pie. Yum! (oh and we ate this for breakfast this morning too) :-p

The Ramers graced us with a visit too. They had just finished Christmas dinner, and decided to drop by and it was a lot of fun to have them hang out with us. Lauren's mom, Anne, was also in town, and was quick to snatch up Ethan (as grandmas do of course). Diego was in his holiday best festive attire in his bright red knit sweater (matching mom, Lauren). The fam had to rush off to their church for Christmas service at 8pm. Ethan had been a bit fussy during this time, and Diego was in no hurry to leave for church as he was quite concerned for his friend, Ethan. But with a bit of love and tenderness, they were off, and imparted some joy and smiles to our evening.



Natalie and Davar arrived with their new bundle of joy - baby girl, Emily! This had been the much anticipated meeting between Emily and Ethan. Dressed in a very festive red dress with white fur trim, Emily was the star of the night. Her big, beautiful eyes and huge lashes just captivated everyone. Such a cutie. I think Emily looks more like her daddy, Davar, although in some pictures, she really takes on mom's features.



A la Grey's Anatomy, Natalie, our "world renowned ophtho doctor" (eye doctor) - because everyone on this show is "world renowned and super achieved in their field of medicine" - brought two dishes: (1) eggplant parmesan and (2) vegetarian lasagna. Actually, our very own Natalie is consitently voted one of America's "Best Doctors" and is a leader in the field of Corneal transplant surgery and laser eye surgery. Many friends have had their eyes done through Natalie :-D

As expected, we took a ton of pictures of the noomies, Emily and Ethan. Girl and Boy. Pink and Blue. Yup, we had a field day with this one. And there are so many similarities with both of them: (1) both were born 5 weeks premature of their expected due date, (2) both weighed exactly 5 lbs at birth, (3) both have names that start with 'E' :-D

Rabi, a colleague of Kelly's and Krishelle's also dropped by for a few minutes. Rabi was very good with Ethan! And in fact, almost all of the pictures I took of him with Ethan are fantastic (but I should only really post a couple!). Rabi is an a tour of the country it seems, for the holidays, since he has stops in DC (Washington), New Jersey, Pittsburg, is that is (?) ... I may have forgotten just all the places he is going to visit in the next few days. Rabi is a pediatrician, and is also on his final home stretch of residency. Originally from Syria, Rabi takes his training next to Seattle (U of Washington, or U-dub) where he will commence a fellowship in pediatric hem/onc (cancer) - like Emil, but babies instead of adults. Good luck! And now, Christmas day, it is pouring, and so I hope your road travels are not too difficult or there aren't too many delays.


So many dinners... tonight we are going to Fariba and Payam's home for dinner. Dinner is for Glen and Isik, two dear friends who are leaving the Triangle and moving to Turkey (where Isik is from) in a few days for a couple of years. It was Glen's birthday yesterday (12/24) - HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLEN - and I heard they had a marathon showing of The Lord of The Rings the past few days at their home. You guys will be so missed!!! Ahhhh! Love you! :-D I'm going to bring my laptop with me tonight, so that I can burn CDs for you guys of pictures of some of the things we did over the past three years or so. (not to mention I have promised Fariba wedding pictures for some months now!)

And Tuesday night another dinner, this time at Natalie, Davar and Emily's home. And Wednesday, Thursday... what timing for Adeline, all these fantastic dinner dates.

Dundee, Durham & Duke

[me and Vipul, circa early 2004 when Kelly and I were still dating]

Wow, it's amazing how time flies. I was just looking back at a few old photos on my MSN photo album online (which I no longer use really) and stumbled upon a few of my Dundee (Scotland) days, Karim (ex-housemate) days, and early days living here in Durham. I hope I have these photos backed up some place. That's the thing with digital pictures - they just don't mean as much as typical hard copies from negatives. I am sure I have some (all) backed up away on some CD, and if I do not, well, that would be a shame, since looking back on MSN brought a ton of (good) memories.

Then & Now

Here is Ethan at 5 days and 3 months old. Photos are not to scale for really direct comparison, although his toy in the first picture is a sort of scale bar and the difference in the rolly-polly-ness of his thighs in the second is also another measure.

Ethan On YouTube

Yay, finally I am using YouTube for sharing videos. Here's one I took of Ethan just minutes ago. Grandma is talking to him about guests we are having tonight for dinner, which includes a baby girl who is around Ethan's age. Should be fun. In this video, Ethan babbles a little and shows various facial expressions and waves his arms about a little. Cute baby stuff, so you tough guys out there, you've been warned. Enjoy, and surely many more videos to come now... muhahahaha (evil laughter) :-D

Coming Soon...

How exciting! The new (and final?) Harry Potter book is coming out soon. Book 7, this book will be of Harry's final year at Hogwartz. Have you reserved your book yet?

The Red

Wal-Mart may still be the world's largest retail store, but I can bet Target is catching up, real fast. Every where you look, a new Target store emerges. And unlike Wal-Mart, where usually the bottom line is cost (and no one can argue that the best/cheapest prices are found there), Target's appeal is in both moderately priced items, as well as in the chic, designer-quality, "higher end" options available in their stores.

The Red (Bullseye) is sweeping the nation. And for us, we go to "Tar-zhay" at least once every couple of days. We can't get enough. They serve our every consumer needs. From baby stuff (naturally) to groceries to everyday kitchen and household items to underwear and DVDs, The Red's got it all.

And on the occassion that we sometimes forget The Red behemoth exists (and we go elsewhere for something) we more likely than not discover a far superior product (to what we purchased elsewhere) when later on a routine run to T.

Honey Bunny

This is my Honey Bunny holding noomie noo.

During the past week, Kelly has fallen asleep on the couch holding and feeding Ethan after getting home from work. The first time this happened, Kelly fell asleep more or less around the time she goes to bed anyways, around 9:30pm. With a little help from me, we got both mom and baby to bed, where they could sleep more comfortably. But this pattern of falling asleep on the couch started happening earlier and earlier, and two nights ago, Kelly got home after work, fed Ethan, and fell asleep at 5:30pm - so early in fact that Kelly had not eaten dinner yet, and we all waited for her to wake back up to eat dinner.

Kelly is doing very well with keeping up with breastfeeding Ethan, pumping during work, freezing milk for the week so I or grandma can feed Ethan during the day. I only hope Kelly can manage with breastfeeding and pumping once she starts a Q3/4 schedule (being on call in the hospital every third or fourth night). No doubt it will be a rough 6 weeks or so (not sure how long that schedule lasts for her).

Good thing is Ethan's feeds are stretching out further these days (around 3-4 hours instead of 2-3 hours between feeds) and he is drinking more (around 3.5 to 4.5 oz/110-140ml instead of 2.5 to 3.5 oz).

DDR Mania

The girls are having fun playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) on PS2. It is quite tiring, and everyone needs a shower now. But good exercise fun! "Let's go again!" says Ade. Well, since it is wet and overcast outside, no need to get out of the house :-D Brings back memories of DDR nights at Krishelle's place. Ah, good times.

Daddy & Ethan

3 Month: More Fun!

Ethan is now 3 months old, and he is so much more active, alert and observant, and more easy to handle (he doesn't cry as often anymore). You can hold him, carry him and not have to do all the various "tricks" (jogging, singing, soothing) to ensure he doesn't get cranky. Ah Ma, I wish you could have enjoyed him now. You did so much work for/with Ethan when he was not so easy to comfort. Now, you can even play with him and he responds with his baby noises and varying facial expressions.

Yesterday, Ethan slept pretty much all day, which meant he was up all night unfortunately for Kelly and I. And not that he was fussy much, he was just very alert and awake and in need of interaction. But mom and dad were just too pooped, and wished he had been more wakeful during the day.

And why is it that ALL babies appear to be 'morning babies'? Without fail, come 6am, Ethan is wide-eyed and ready to start his day. He is most alert and responsive and playful during the hours of 6-9am. Thank goodness we have grandma with us now. After his first feed and diaper change in the morning, Ethan normally spends time with grandma while Kelly and I try to catch an extra hour or two of sleep. Actually, I catch up on sleep, and Kelly goes to work. Poor mama. Mothers truly work so hard.

Grandma goes through morning prayers with Ethan. She reads to him stories from his books, and even engages Ethan in a bit of physical activity to strengthen his trunk and neck muscles. When lying on his back, Ethan can push himself up (the bed) with his legs, which makes changing his diaper a challenge also! You start with him close to you, and by the time you have everything in place Ethan has pushed himself away from you nearly two feet! Bath time is also entertaining because of this. All too soon from now, once Ethan is able to do this on his belly, he'll be crawling all over the place :-D But pediatrician mama Kelly says not to expect this developmental milestone any time now, but likely around 6 months or so.

Picture Picture

Ade Meets Third Nephew

Adeline arrived a couple of nights ago with her good friend, Sufren. Ade had been travelling to Singapore and through Europe (Italy, Spain, France, others?) before arriving here to see us, so understandably was very pooped. This picture was taken minutes after she arrived. Ethan (3 months) is Adeline's third nephew - Junnoske (2.5 years) and Ryunoske (10 months). We will be doing some shopping, and eating, and catching up on photos. And Kelly is now also off work for a week or so. Sufren is with us only a couple of nights, then she is back to New Orleans.

Ethan's Footprint Keepsake

So I could not wait the 24 hours required for the cast to fully set. What's new. It seemed hard enough. I hope it holds up and does not fall off and crack or change shape. But here it is. Sorry I could not take a close enough picture of it without getting my own reflection showing. This is Ethan, a couple days shy of 3 months, and his footprint.