Living By Adopted Families

It has been a very difficult past few months, and my blog entries have reflected that somewhat. We have gone through a lot -- selling our house in Durham (NC), immigration lottery for work visas, and of course the move to Blue Ridge -- but making it all the more arduous has been the apparent absence of family members close to us.

I sometimes regret I ever decided to live so far away from my family, and I know both Kelly and I regularly wish we could have somehow done things a bit differently to have our families closer maybe. But it was just not possible. And, besides, at least on my side of the family, it seems the wish of being with each other is only mine, and not one reciprocated.

Which is why our recent trip to Tennessee was all the more needed. It was so great to be with friends, and meet a lot of new friends whom we hope to get to know better over the coming months.

Kelly and I have lived quite a distance from family for many years. Solely, because we live now in such an isolated place, do we (at least I) finally feel their absence in our lives. Because otherwise, we have always managed to surround ourselves with an "adopted family", be they colleagues, the local community, neighbors, Baha'i friends, etc.. It is a little different now. This support, this adopted family, it seems will take a little bit longer to establish.

I always envied friends of mine who have had a strong presence of grandparents in their lives. I certainly have not had this, with the exception of my paternal grandmother (my dad's mom) with whom I can hardly communicate with due to a language barrier (she speaks Farsi-Persian). I usually see in these friends a stronger sense of who they are, if nothing else from the greater sense of family history passed down by stories through the generations.

Am I repeating a pattern (of distancing myself from my parents) I see started by my father (and perhaps his father) that will ultimately result in Ethan not knowing his grandparents or a family history?