Yesterday & Today

Yesterday was Mashi's birthday, and Ethan turned 11 months.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, brother. I hope you had a great day, and we look forward to visiting you soon.

I am writing this in total desperation. I am just so upset. We have no family near by!! And although this is not a new situation for us (Kelly and I have not had family live near us for years and years now) today in particular it is really biting my butt to not have anyone to turn to.

Ethan is getting very very hard to handle during the days. Not all the time. But I'd say most of the time. He eats very little, and even still feeding him is incredibly frustrating since he does not particularly like what it is we are feeding him, and so he opens his mouth by parting his lips ever so small, which would be tolerable if he had no teeth, but his two bottom ones are now acting as a second line of defense for the incoming spoon.

His face then becomes a mess, especially since he now reacts by rubbing his hands on his mouth and then rubs his eyes and hair and so food goes everywhere! His high chair as a result is gross. The floors. Everywhere. And he cries, because he too is not having any fun, that's for sure. And so the feeding stops.

But dad has many other things he can do if given the time. Nope! Noomz is only happy when carried. And even then, he squirms as if he is being held uncomfortably. Put down to play, he cries. Can't win.

And above all, I see many things going wrong with our house that the inspector should have reported or noticed. I seem to have no claim for warranty or anything that backs me, though I am going to request that my attorney look into this to see if I have any options here.

And so I am trapped at home, with Ethan who does little to show his appreciation for what I do for him or what I have to do for him. I notice all the things going wrong with our house that needs fixing and the costs for repairs I feel should be covered by warranty or the builder himself. I feel conflicted with having all these negative thoughts about certain people relating to the whole home buying process, but then come to realize that perhaps these people truly are being negligent and/or not being accountable for things they should. I give people the benefit of the doubt, though not instinctively (but with Kelly's insistance), and then my suspicions are always confirmed.

Just trapped and bogged down in negativity!