Back "Home"

I have to write. An entire month has elapsed since my last entry. Several friends of mine met Ethan for the first time have said how they love following his development through my blog. Ahem, hence my renewed efforts in trying to write more regularly again.

I am writing (typing) sitting here in my aunt's and uncle's home in Coquitlam, BC.

Our trip has been pleasant, and I have seen many of my old friends, and driven through many of my childhood neighborhoods and places I frequented in my youth.

BC is a gem of a place. Lush mountains. Mild climate. A multi-cultural shmorgasborg. Over the past 48 hours, for example, we ate Japanese, Thai, Persian and Mediterranean/Greek. I got my wish for a Slurpee, and attended the rehearsal dinner for my friend's wedding (which will be on Friday). I can't complain.

With all the "homely" comforts of returning to BC for this trip, still, there are many things that have changed that contribute to a feeling of "a home no more":

(1) as much as I have grown up with Asian cultures predominating in BC, the singleness, and overwhelming presence in numbers (in the airport alone) made me feel like I had just landed in Southeast Asia, as with our trip back in December to Singapore/Malaysia -- I am one for diversity, don't get me wrong, so long as there is unity. And one obvious way to display a more outward presentation of this unity would be to identify with the very nation they dwell in. Sadly, for me, a lack of "Canadiana" also means, all these strangers, can gladly keep my old home where once my roots grew deep;

(2) my parents no longer live here -- and up until this stage in my life (where I have my own family), home has always been defined by where "mom and dad" live;

(3) a once close knit group of friends, I may still have contact with all of them, but few are in contact with each other -- this point is not surprising in the least, since everyone is prone to "separation" when significant time is allowed to go on without effort made to keep contact. Life gets in the way. Marriages. Children. Professional obligations. And it is impossible to keep in contact with everyone. Nevertheless, this just shows how much friendships formed and nurtured through one's formative days can really shape the person one becomes as an adult and the long lasting influences in one's life -- and can equally define where "home" is.

With two more days remaining in our visit, I look forward to a dear friend's wedding, and to eat some more of my aunt's delicious cooking.

I will also try to convince my close friends to take on a journey to a small Japanese-style cottage in the USA's "deep south".